As I sit on this morning, in the quiet stillness of a home that has not yet awoken, I am given a beautiful moment to reflect. My 33rd year has circled its way around and linked together with the next. I close my eyes and see the final parties in my hometown, uprooting my family from our comfortable un-comfort and traveling to a new state, a new climate, an unknown territory. I see the beauty of Arizona, the pure MAGIC of Patagonia. The mountains rising all around. Western Sunsets. The Sunrise on a crisp morning. The sheer fantastic-ness of the high desert. I've learned to adapt to temperatures I gawked at from New England. I've learned to love the sweat and relish the hot, dry Arizona sun on my skin. My fear of Rattlesnakes, scorpions, black widows, it seems silly now.
My Heart, my heart has changed. It is no longer kept inside of this little cavity. It has expanded. It has burst wide open. It radiates from the central point within my body and extends to all those around me. I've learned to Love in situations that I never would have imagined. The judgement is fading. We are all one. We are all the same. It is a higher Love. I've moved thousands of miles from what I know. My family, my friends. My support system. The world that I knew. I've lost one of my best friends, my Grammie, she was an Angel on Earth and now she is always around me. Thank God, because Grammie, I need you here with me, I feel your love, support and presence everyday. My Heart has opened to a new community of amazing people. And I've learned so much. I've seen pure bliss and light embodied in 20 year olds. Knowledge hidden in every crevice and every being around me. I've seen drama..yes, I've seen drama. In many forms. But to look at this drama as a mirror. Reflecting it within my self, my soul. Using it to better my being. I've undoubtably become closer to God, the Source, The LIGHT. This place, this little town, in the middle of the desert. I've rooted into the source, I've grown towards the Light.
I've found brothers and sisters in the kitchen. In the kitchen. It is quite magical there. My Cafe family. We are a family, aren't we. The love and teasing, the support and constructive criticism. The magic that we create, everyday. It was amazing to be part of that family. IN MY GLORY. And to serve this Light to an amazing staff. Incredible Gardeners, Nurses, the Apothecary team, Front desk, Sales team, Management, all of the Light workers at the Tree of Life. And the guests. Watching the Transformation of people of all shapes and sizes. The transformation. The GLOW, the smiles, the bounce in their step that the entire team at the Tree has contributed to. And My sister, having my sister be an active part of my life again. THAT has been wonderful. Seeing her outside of our bubble. As a woman, my teacher, an amazing Aunt.
I see my shy children that were just starting to open up evolving into these magnificently social creatures. Relating to male and female of every age as a friend. Forming bonds with toddlers and elders equally. They are so wise, so wise. I appreciate and love them more and more everyday. I see my husband. Well, I didn't actually see much of him. Somehow, our relationship is stronger. I feel more love for him, more love from him, more mutual support.
I look around me, I look forward. There are boxes, in a pile, to my right. Empty bookcases, cabinets and shelves all around me. I'm not quite sure where we are going now. I mean, I know, I can find it on a map. But I don't KNOW. Our new RV is taking on the qualities of Home. Time for a new adventure. Time to turn inward. Back to the family. To replenish the life force of our family. Dusting the cobwebs off of the old homeschooling books and exploring new ones. Loving every last minute of the sheer cuteness of my two year old (almost 3!!) The love of my son and the maturity of my daughter. Spending time with my husband. I'm not sure where we are going, but I KNOW that it is right.
Sitting here on my 34th birthday, above and beyond all, I feel gratitude. SO much gratitude. For all things in my life. An amazing Mom and a wonderful Dad, a sensational husband, three of THE MOST incredible kids, Grandparents, both here and in spirit, my brother and sister, cousins, Aunts, Uncles, my dear, dear friends, who may as well be blood family, my in-laws (YES, I am lucky enough to be grateful for wonderful in-laws!) Nieces and a VERY SOON to be nephew, for GOD.
I have Gratitude because I know that I can do ANYTHING. We can follow our dream, follow our passion. We ARE NOT STUCK. "I wish I could.." "If I had the money..." This should not be part of our vocabulary. This is our life. We have it to LIVE and LOVE. Own it. Follow God. Put your intension out to the universe and if it is truly for your Higher Purpose the universe will conspire to support you in all things. For THIS I am grateful.
Thank You Light for all you have given to me.